Belated Bolognese

This will be a short one, since I also have to do one for the cooking hurricane that was Sydney Bear's first birthday. This bolognese was made in roughly 15 - 20 minutes one morning as lunch for me and Chris.

I'm up in the AM with Sydneister and completely motivated to cook something that I consider acceptable after eating frozen pizza for dinner the night before. But Carly, you say, how can you make pasta bolognese BEFORE work? Magic. One BIG pan, with high sides ( I have an awesome one and it is worth the investment, trust me) and one medium pot. I am not one of those people that will tell you that you need a huge pasta pot, or even just a big pot where all the pasta can move around. Typically if I am cooking pasta I am also cooking something else on the stove and I don't have room for all these huge pots. So I cook my pasta in a tiny pot with oil and salt water and just stir it frequently to make sure it doesn't stick. Easier to clean a little pot as well. (Side note added later - Rachel Ray, if you come up with one more pot specifically for 1 type of food I will kick you butt in 30 minutes or less).

In my big pan I put a pound of ground turkey. I use dark meet because the light meat is so lean that it seizes up into little pieces of card board when you cook it. Add a good amount of salt and pepper to the meat and let it brown up. Now I fill my little pot with water, a big splash of olive oil and a big big big pinch of salt, or maybe I would be better to describe it as a small dump of salt. Bring this to a boil.

Now back to my happy little ground up turkey. Once this bad boy is brown I dump in a jar of Vodka Sauce. Yup, a pre-made jar of sauce and it kind of breaks my heart, but here is why. I used to religiously make my own pasta sauce. And I mean religiously in the fanatical sense. It was so simple and I never even looked at the pre-made stuff. And then, on a very sad day, I was educated to the fact the canned tomatoes that I was using for this sauce contained artificial estrogen. The stuff they line the cans with to keep the metal from reacting with the acid in the tomatoes has BPA in it. Funny though, they are lining something toxic with something even more toxic? Thank god tomato acids don't react with BPA. Oh wait, they do! Super!! That little tidbit just really made my sauce making day. So I started a mission to come up with the perfect tomato sauce made from fresh tomatoes. I have done good ones, but not one that replaces the traditional sauce. Until I perfect it, tomato sauce in glass jars only for me. And just in case you think I am crazy, this is from the BPA Material Safety Data Sheet...

S46 If swallowed, seek medical advice immediately and show this container or label.

Toxicology
Causes severe eye irritation. Possible risk that this material may impair fertility.

Just sayin...

Anywho! So I dump vodka sauce onto my cooked up turkey, but now I am in a dilemma!! How do I make it taste like homemade sauce? Here is my trick. I get about 5-6 garlic cloves, peeled but whole and throw them in the sauce right away. They boil down and become delicious in and of themselves. It's fine it you smash em with something to get the skins off. They don't NEED to be whole, just don't waste your time chopping anything, Garlic in, next balsamic vinegar. I am really horrible with measurements and temperatures and blah blah blah. Splash the vinegar into the sauce in one spot until you have what you would assume to be a puddle of vinegar about the size of a golf ball sliced in half. Make sense? I also tossed in a pinch of red pepper flakes and a mound, yes a mound, of parmesan cheese. Oh, and a splash of olive oil for good measure. This is an italian dish and there is no such thing as not adding olive oil every step of the way. But don't tell the italians, I use spanish olive oil. Oh snap!

I proceed to take myself and Syderoo out to the planters to pick basil, bout a handful. Smells delish and I am always tempted to just throw it in right then and there, but don't. Check your water, should have begun boiling by now. Throw in your pasta. Anything but spaghetti. Get a fun shape. The best ones taste wise are the ones that are tubular or curly. They hold sauce really well. The ones I get look like big macaronis with mohawks. As your pasta cooks let your sauce simmer so that the vinegar and cheese and garlic all permeate into the meat. The sauce thickens up a bit so add some of the pasta water to keep it loose. That's right keep your sauce loose. But don't keep it loose from the beginning. If you let it simmer down then all the flavors concentrate and then you add water to thin it back out, but now the sauce has a whole new flavor. I told you this was magic.

Pasta is done boiling and it is al dente. I don't care who you are or how you like your pasta, it is done when it is al dente. If you or anyone you know every tries to give me a plate of mushy pasta a part of me dies inside. And so does a puppy, you really want that on your conscience? I'm kidding! No puppies were harmed in the making of this dish. Take a slotted spoon or a spider in my case and scoop your pasta out of the water and straight into the sauce pan. Now is the perfect time to add the basil. Grab it in your palm and squeeze it, then tear it up with your fingers straight into the pot. The heat and oils in your hands begin a chemical reaction in the basil that brings out the flavor. Whenever you can, use your hands as tools over a utensil. Toss you lettuce with your hands instead of salad tongs, break things apart with your hands instead of your knife, eat with your hands. I don't care if you aren't sentimental about cooking with your hands, it's chemistry. Your body temperature and body chemistry actually enhance the flavor of your food. Hence, everything made by hand in a small mill/farm/kitchen tastes better than its mass produced counter part. What, you thought it was the 'love' it was made with?? Nope, straight up body chemistry. And maybe a little love. :-)

Stir up your pasta and sauce for a minute or so over medium-low heat to get the sauce to absorb into the pasta. Turn off the heat and serve, or put into tupperware for later. Now if you went back and deleted all of my rants and nonsense, this would have been a 10 sentence post. This recipe is easier than boiling an egg.