Sorry this one took so long - Ice Cream Ice Cream Ice Cream

Homemade ice cream, there is nothing like it. Go buy an ice cream machine. You don't have to get a fancy one, the cheap ones from Walmart work fine. I don't have the kind where you freeze the bowl, with mine you use ice and rock salt and it works like a charm. Stop reading right now, go buy one and then come back. Go now!

All you have to do to make ice cream is make a custard, a thin custard. You put whatever you want in it. It is so much fun. So I decided that since I have yellow cake and strawberries that the missing flavor is chocolate. This is my first time making chocolate ice cream, but really, how hard can it be?

Two parts to this recipe. Melt the cocoa powder into half n half on the stove. I would say about 1 cup of cocoa powder and 1 cup of half n half. Stir it over medium heat until it melts together. You don't have to cook it, just get it to combine. Soon as it does add 3 more cups of half n half. You can also add some heavy cream if you want it to be richer. Go big or go home. Full-fat is good. And anyway all that low-fat and skim milk people drink is higher in sugar, which clearly goes against everyone's strict aversion to carbs these days. I'll tell you what, I'm going to invent the new diet. Eat whatever you want, whenever you want, but only eat what you can fit in the palm of your hands. Consider your hands to be your god given measuring cups. I'm calling it the Hand Diet. You heard it here first, anyone who copies me is clearly stealing. I'm gonna be a millionaire.

Ok, back to my ice cream. Once you add the rest of the cream cook it over medium heat until little bubbles form around the edge of the pot. Stir frequently so you don't get a burnt layer of chocolate on the bottom of your pot. Once you have bubbles turn off the heat and let the mixture rest. Dance across your kitchen until you locate your eggs. I usually keep mine in the fridge, but if store yours in your laundry basket far be it for me to tell you otherwise. Get 8 - 9 egg yolks separated out. Add a cup of sugar and whisk vigorously until they are pale yellow and all the sugar is blended in. Now pour in a little splash of your chocolate cream mixture in while whisking. Keep doing this in little bits until you get all the chocolate mixed into the eggs. Go slowly! If you dump all that hot liquid straight into your eggs you will scramble them and have chocolate breakfast instead of ice cream. Once it is all stirred up pour it all back into the pot and heat over medium heat while stirring constantly with a wooden spoon. A wooden spoon, a spoon a made of wood, a piece of wood carved into a spoon like shape. If you stir with anything else the custard gods will rain down sorrow upon you, or maybe that is just a rumor. Heat over medium heat constantly stirring until it thickens a bit and coats the back of your spoon. Take is off the heat and set aside to cool for a bit.

Once you have let this cool the real magic begins. Add a dash of vanilla extract, a bigger dash of lemon extract and a slightly bigger dash of almond extract. All extracts should be alcohol free. Stir this up with your handy-dandy wooden spoon. Following the instructions on your swanky new ice cream machine pour your scrumptious chocolate mixture in and run until it is the consistency of soft gelato aka slightly melted ice cream. Then you put this in the freezer to let it harden a bit, but not too much. Maybe 30 minutes to an hour.

Yummmmmmm...

Now eat it all at once, ALL OF IT!! :-)