Random sauce discovery...

While cooking at my friend Paula's house I discovered something ridiculously yummy and different.  It is a sauce that kind of comes out like a chutney.  I had huge pork chops and I wanted a sauce with fruit that was kind of Asian in flavor.  I made a last minute decision at the grocery store and here is what I ended up with...

a bag of fresh cherries
a small tub of blue cheese crumbles
a jar of hoisin sauce
a jar of asian chili sauce

Let the experiment begin...

Paula was an angel and broke up/pitted all the cherries for me.  I then chopped them up and threw them into hot pan with a couple pinches of brown sugar she had layin' around.  The sugar step was improv and I don't think it was really that necessary.  Then I added 2 small spoons of chili sauce (you be the judge of how hot you like it, aka how big of a baby you are).  Sautee this all together until it starts cooking down and then lower the heat just a little and added in 2 small spoons of hoisin sauce and half the tub of blue cheese crumbles.  Cooked this mixture while stirring constantly until all the blue cheese was melted.  Voila!  Nutso Crazy Spicy Asian Cherry Blue Chutney Sauce Whatever... that's the official name.

It was delicious on pork chops and I imagine would also be on steak.  You could even put it on a chicken or turkey breast while you baked it in the oven.  Mmmmm....  Or maybe stuff a tenderloin with it.  Oh hell, bathe in it for all I care (but eat some while you do).

Smooches,
Carnapples

In between ice cream and next week

Ok, so we may still be waiting on the ice cream recipes, but I wanted to toss in an old recipe that I don't think I included and is by far one of my favorites.  The ingredient list is ridiculously simple as is the preparation... but I have never, not even once, had any leftovers.  I served it to someone who hates blue cheese, and they went back for seconds.  This baby goes over well every time and I love it.

Alright, I will get to the point.  Here is your grocery list; cherry or grape tomatoes, NY Strips (good ones), 1 container of crumbled blue cheese, balsamic vinegar, 1 container of fresh strawberries and baby spinach. Wasn't that simple?  Even my mother could figure out that ingredient list... i think.  Now that you are fully stocked, go fire up the grill.  But Carly, you say, I don't have a grill or I don't want to grill, or realistically I don't even know how to light a grill!  That's fine you can also sear the steaks in a pan then cook them in the oven till they are medium rare (medium if you're a wimp) ((if you are tempted to cook them past medium please stop reading right now because you and I will never really understand each other)).  Right before you sear or grill your steaks put what you would most likely consider to be an ungodly amount of salt and pepper on either side.  If you look ungodly up in the dictionary of Carly it means, give those bad boys a salt and pepper CRUST.  Please do not do this in advance, this is not a marinade.  If you do this and let the steaks sit at all you will do is suck all the moisture out and be left with a greyish rock, which more resembles a rotting organ than a delicious steak.  Just warning you.

While your steaks are cooking cut your strawberries into quarters and put in a pan with the entire container of blue cheese and a bunch of balsamic vinegar.  I have never once measured any of the ingredients in this recipe so I cannot help you on that level.  There needs to be enough vinegar to create a sauce, you aren't creating a reduction, just a sauce.  Put salt and cracked black pepper in here to taste.  You should cook it until all the cheese is melted and the strawberries are soft... yummmmm.....

Check your steaks...   Once they are done, pull your steaks off the grill and let them sit for a few minutes.

While they are resting, put the baby spinach on a platter and halve the tomatoes, which you will then toss onto the spinach.  Salt and pepper this as well, just a little.

Slice your steaks up and then once they are laying out all sliced and juicy, salt and pepper them again.  I know, I know, I salt and pepper every step of the way and you think I'm crazy.  What's crazy is that my food tastes better because I do this, so shut it.  I mean that with love.

Pour the warm strawberry balsamic blue cheese sauce over the steaks and let it sit for just a minute.  Now be brave and dump all of this on top of the spinach and tomatoes.  Voila!  Gigantic family style steak salad.  If you wanna change it up, sub figs for strawberries.

Toodles! Be back soon with the results of the ice cream extravaganza.

When all else fails... make ice cream

Ok, so this isn't the recipe post, this is the idea post.  It's gonna be ice cream Sunday, so I gotta come up with some good ideas.

First one is my fall back, Italian Chocolate
Second, cantaloupe ice cream with diced frozen watermelon on top and fresh mint syrup
Third, fresh stone fruit (peaches, plums, nectarines etc.) in mexican vanilla ice cream
Fourth, red velvet ice cream with cream cheese sauce
Fifth, limoncello

I will report back with how they actually turn out :-)

If you want to know what food is...

This post will be short and sweet and dedicated to SIMPLE foods, that are delicious and as close to their original state as I could get them. As you may already know I am a purist and I don't always like turning a food into something its not. These snacks are a major part of our new diet and get eaten nearly every day...

Avocado, cherry tomato and heart of palm salad. Equal parts of each, chopped, plenty of salt and pepper and a splash of good vinegar (anything but white or apple cider vinegar). Stir and enjoy.

Fruit salad - sliced strawberries, a peeled and section clementine and a sliced kiwi, drizzle with a very small amount of agave nectar. Stir and enjoy.

Thai cucumbers Carly Style - In a bowl put roughly 1/4 cup vinegar (white or red wine vinegar work well), a tablespoon of agave nectar, a big pinch of salt and a dash of soy sauce. Heat this in a pan or microwave it for 10 seconds. Stir until everything is dissolved and combined. Put aside and let cool. Slice 1 cucumber, I think english cucumbers are the best for this because they are sweeter. Dump the sliced cucumber into a zip-lock bag along with the vinegar mixture. Put this in your fridge anywhere from a few minutes up to a few days. Just eat 'em straight. I use them as a side dish with dinner, as a snack in the middle of the day or I eat them straight out of the fridge late night style.

Steamed broccoli - but Carly, you say, that is not a recipe, that is just steamed broccoli. Well if it's so damned simple that you don't need a recipe then why don't you make it more often?? If you want it to taste amazing without covering it with butter, try tossing it in a tiny bit of soy sauce and toasted sesame seeds if you have them.

Steamed asparagus, chopped and chilled, tossed with diced hearts of palm and some salt & pepper. Squeeze of lemon, if you wanna live on the edge. Pinch of dill, if you have totally lost your mind. :)

And now time for the bonus round! DING DING DING!

REAL Homemade Red Sauce - This, above all else, is the most valuable recipe to ever exist in the history of this blog. Here is the ingredient list...

6 large tomatoes

2 heads of garlic

1 onion (anything but red)

salt & pepper - freshly cracked is the best

Cooking oil - I recommend coconut oil, but you use what ever you got.

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Cut your tomatoes in half and place them flat side down on a baking sheet (one WITH sides please). Cut off the ends of your onion, peel and cut in half. Place them flat side down, nestled among your tomatoes. Plop your two garlic heads down into the mix, do not peel or cut your garlic in any way. Brush everything on your baking sheet with oil (or spray it with coconut oil if you live at my house). If you don't have a brush get a paper towel, drench it in oil and use it like a brush. Please do not pour or "drizzle" the oil on. You will use way too much. That being said, if you live in Italy and have Fantastic olive oil, drizzle away. Otherwise, it's not worth the calories. Salt and pepper these bad boys.

Toss your baking sheet into the oven and find something to do for 45 minutes to an hour. If you don't think you can find anything to do during this time try fixing the rest of your dinner, cleaning up your kitchen, doing laundry, drinking wine, drawing with crayons or reading a book. If none of those sound good you can always get your lazy butt over here and clean MY house.

Pull your well roasted veggies out of the oven and use a spatula to transfer the tomatoes to a bowl (if you don't have an immersion blender you would be transferring them to a regular blender or food processor). Please be careful, these tomatoes are insanely mushy and insanely hot. If I see even one of you discard the skin of the tomato at this point I will come to your house and smite you! Add the onion and blend away. Let the garlic cool for a moment because you have to handle them and you don't want burnt fingers. After a few minutes you should be able to pick them up. Flip them upside down and squeeze the top (which is now actually the bottom). The cloves should kind of pop out of the base fairly easily. Get 'em out however you need to. Toss the roasted, smushy garlic in and blend again. Add a healthy dose of salt and pepper and blend again (healthy AKA lots). Taste it, season again, taste it again, season it again. If you can't actually TASTE the salt and pepper you have not put enough in. Once your mixture is all seasoned and blended pour it into a pan on the stove on medium heat and cook for about 15 minutes, while stirring occasionally. You can cook it for longer if you like, it is a taste preference at this point. This stove top moment is where you can add different things depending on your mood. Herbs, a splash of balsamic vinegar, fresh basil, fresh fennel (the green part, this is one of my favorites), fresh sage, crushed/chopped good olives, a splash of wine, a splash of whiskey, a pinch of cinnamon, a pinch of curry powder if you are daring. Or you can just leave it plain and simple, which is how I roll 99% of the time. Turn off the heat and let this cool. Pour it into a mason jar or some old tupperware and VOILA! delicious red sauce. This will NOT keep forever in your fridge like that jar of pasta sauce that you bought at the store, but you made it to use it so eat it and always remember... we are supposed to embalm people with synthetic preservatives, not eat them for dinner. On a serious note, this sauce will probably last a week or two in your fridge.

If you own a spiralizer, you should spiralize a bunch of zucchini, salt and pepper it and then toss it into the pan that you heated your sauce in. Top it off with some warm sauce and heat for just a couple minutes until everything is warm. Go past a couple minutes and you have mush, so be careful. Welcome to pasta land without the pasta. Add ground turkey to the sauce and you could convert even the most hardcore BigMac addict into a lover of real food.

If you wanna know what a spiralizer is let me know. If you want to know what food is, stop eating things that do not grow.

It's been sooooo long

Ok, so I have been MIA for a while. I am still here, I made it through the holidays safe and sound, as I hope you have as well. I promise to be posting recipes and madness again shortly. I am going on a super healthy kick and I am going to attempt to come up with an unbelievable amount of unbelievably delicious recipes. Unbelievable, I know. I am creating a diet that leaves you feeling as though you are eating gourmet meals all day. At the same time the recipes will be simple and have few ingredients and many ingredients will overlap. That way you can stretch a budget and not spend hours in the kitchen. Cheap, quick, succulent and the cause of much skinniness? Impossible! Hardly...

I will post my weekly adventures on this diet and my weekly menus. I may not get super specific on every recipe, so if there is one that you want me to expand on just comment and I will go into more detail. I have three lovely ladies following me on this and eating these recipes so I have some taste testers to give me feed back as well. Sweet!

Wish me luck on my super diet, hoping to make it last a year.

Happy New Year everybody! In my opinion you should all resolve to this...

"Enchant, be beautiful and graceful, but do this, eat well. Bring the same consideration to the preparation of your food as you devote to your appearance. Let your dinner be a poem, like your dress." - Charles Pierre Monselet